Is Your Selflessness Actually Selfish?

There are more attributes that unite us all than divides us – period. Many of these include simple things like we all have 24 hours in a day, we all have the power of choice, we all desire love, acceptance, vitality, purpose, and to be of service, and we all have the ability to allow strengths to become weaknesses if we don’t keep them in check.

As highly sensitive and spiritual people will understand, we feel things, on all levels, more quickly and intensely than the average person and as such, we will “burn out” and manifest dis-ease on some level a lot faster. Being a highly sensitive person has its gift in this way; we have a built in mechanism to let us know that it’s time to cool it – but then what?

Feminine Shame Taking its Toll

Our fast paced world is riddled with Feminine Shame, with so many demands from bosses, clients, families, and the harshest always being from ourselves. We’ve gotten really really good at overriding these messages in the name of “selfless service” to the aforementioned demands.

We’ll ignore aches and pains, suppress emotions, etc. as we continue to slave through our days and tasks so that we can check off our lists and “keep it all together” for our bosses, our clients, our families, and ourselves.

And the worst part is, we’ll continue in this self-imposed prison for years because we’ve devised a story that this is just how it has to be and we wear our exhaustion, our dis-ease with a warped badge of honor. We develop guilt around slowing down, caring for ourselves, and practicing self care for all four of our bodies.

Feminine Shame is running the show and driving us further away from our naturalness. And above all, this is the most selfish way we could possibly live our lives.

When you’re in this state, you are a dimmed version of yourself.

Your life force isn’t as potent as it could and should be, you’re cheating yourself and those around you out of your most authentic Self and, you’re certainly not showing up as powerfully in the world to be of service and to give and receive love. When your health, on all levels, suffers, this lifestyle you live in the name of selflessness to meet the demands of everything has officially turned into selfishness at its finest.

And, often times, we’re so into it we don’t realize we’re doing it and we certainly don’t realize there’s another way!


To truly change the world, we must change the way we live and we must get to the root of our outdated stories, thank them for serving a purpose at some point (otherwise they wouldn’t exist) and lovingly release them as we boldly take a stand for ourselves to embrace and learn a new way.

What’s truly good for us, is good for the whole.

Still unsure? Ask yourself these questions:

– Are you stuck in a cycle of momentum/stagnation in your life?
– Do you have guilt around taking time for yourself to do things that you love?
– Do you know what you love and what activities are nourishing and revitalizing to you?
– Do you have nagging symptoms that you can’t seem to shake or just a general feeling of being “unwell”?
– Do you resist movement and exercise or worse, use it as punishment for overindulging or to berate your body for not looking a certain way?
– Do you neglect spending adequate time in solitude to consciously tend to your four bodies?
– Do you resist taking time for yourself to engage in creative endeavors that delight your Spirit?
– Do you even take the time to commune with your Spirit?

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Any new way requires practice, dedication, a clear purpose, and commitment. May your dedication, discipline, and perseverance revitalize you.

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More Holistic Living + Healing:

Greetings! I’m Devon Ray Battaglia, MS, AHA, ACC. As an Integrative Health Expert, Ayurvedic Health Advisor, and Holistic Life Coach, I’ve devoted myself to living and sharing the timeless wisdom of Nature’s rhythms to unlock our natural resilience and joy!

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