I’m Devon Ray Battaglia and writing About pages makes me itchy. I dislike conformity and the standard About page system. I’d much rather sit with you over tea and talk for hours about life’s mysteries (#INFJ) than write quirky little musings About me, so we’re just going to get right into the meat of it all. Grab some tea. Let’s get real.
Today, among many things, I am an Integrative Health Expert and Holistic Life Coach who is fiercely committed to living from her InnerSpark and guiding others in doing the same.
Sounds sexy, but what does that mean? Stick with me.
I know it may seem like I “just woke up this way,” however, that couldn’t be farther from the truth, beloved.
For much of my early life, I was on an endless quest to “fix” myself.
I’m as deep-feeling, sensitive, intuitive, and empathic as they come – and I’ve always felt deeply flawed because of it. For so much of my life I firmly believed that there was just something deeply and fundamentally “wrong” with me.
I thought life would always feel like something to “get through,” and that I’d never get to be “one of them” – a phrase I secretly coined to describe those seemingly happy, well-adjusted, free-flowing womxn I envied.
I would try everything to finally “love” (or even just like) myself.
I thought it was my body and if I could just “finally lose weight” to get my “best body”…
I thought it was my diet and if I could just “eat clean” or eat more “superfoods”…
I thought the solutions could be in my next relationship, my job, my education, a new trinket…
I drank too much, felt trapped in my own body, resented my high sensitivity and introversion, had unhealthy relationships with food and men, and was weighed down heavily by the burdens of shame, trauma, addictions, physical health challenges, and more…
And of course, I thought that the next “expert,” or protocol, or program I sought would finally be the “answer” and I’d have that life changing “awakening”…
I still felt totally lost, overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious, and exhausted. B-u-r-n-t-o-u-t.
Any of these sound familiar? I can check the box on them all.
- Feeling like the world is too loud, too fast, and I am too sensitive, introverted, and weird to have what I need or want
- Needing help, and being too ashamed to ask for it
- Feeling small, awkward, uncomfortable, misunderstood, and like no one “gets” me
- Fearing my power and femininity because I didn’t trust myself to know how to “handle” it
- Struggling to like myself, let alone love myself
- Seeking countless “answers,” “fixes,” and “protocols” and “experts”
- Hating my body and watching health problems surface, which fueled more disdain in vicious cycle
- Feeling “too much” and “not enough” at the same time
- Denying myself from living my purpose
Above all, looking back, I was craving to be grounded into something real, wild, and magical.
Shortly after life handed me a MAJOR kick in the arse about a decade ago, I realized I could no longer continue in that way. And so I did not.
I wanted to get to the root of why I was constantly burnt out, anxious, sabotaging myself, pleasing others at the expense of myself, and mostly – why I always felt like there was something “wrong” with me.
Those early days were wobbly. I had “all or nothing” thinking and rebounded between perfection and destruction. I would go from self-improvement protocols (that were really self-punishment) to uncontrolled binges of self-indulgence (that were also, truly, just another form of self-punishment).
I would get a few steps closer to what I thought I wanted and then I would suffer another giant set back as everything fell apart in an avalanche of shame and guilt.
Eventually I realized that my sense of shame around my high sensitivity, around just being a human in a woman’s body, was actually at the root of all my suffering.
I leaned in more closely to the things I had previously been running from and shunning: my body, my emotions, my mind, my energy, Nature.
I realized that these inevitable “spirals” of change within and around me were not signifying that anything was “wrong,” but that everything was actually just right. I was simply natural – even if that meant I wasn’t “normal” by societal standards.
I observed this phenomenon in myself and others: this is Feminine Shame, and it, beloved, is the root of why so many of us deep-feelers are burnt the eff out… It impacts all of us, regardless of gender or physical anatomy.
I took inspiration from and connected with my inner wisdom council through Nature’s wisdom and rhythms: the eight cosmic archetypes of The Mother.
I realized that my “Spiral Principle,” The Mother, the divine feminine force I craved had never actually left, and all that I actually needed was to resurrect my awareness of it all through repairing my relationship with my own inner sense of containment (or “Triangle Principle“) and my inner authority through devoted discipline.
I befriended shame and used it to bring me closer more nourishment, joy, peace, and confidence.
I learned to listen to my intuition more and listened to my fears and anxieties less. I was no longer operating from “fight or flight” and old patterns of self-destructive and addictive behaviors. Instead, I learned to identify and honor my true needs and to just show up for myself every day with grace and honesty. I learned to embrace my shadows, traumas, and sensitive nature as gifts. It is the wisdom gleaned from my many years of suffering, resisting, avoiding, and numbing that I serve you.
Living in alignment with Nature’s wisdom offered the healing nothing else could, and that only continues to blossom.
As a voracious learner (and lover of holistic healing), I continue to joyously explore and expand my skill set, certifications, and studies along the way, and my journey has led me to many wonderful places including completing my MS in Nutrition & Integrative Health from Maryland University of Integrative Health, a Registered Yoga Teacher certification, a Flower Essence Therapy certification, Energy Healing certification, and a Meditation and Pranayama (breath practice) certification. I studied coaching with The Wisdom of the Whole Academy. And I study Ayurveda with Hale Pule Ayurveda & Yoga. I am continually inspired by and study Nature’s rhythms and Earth-based wisdom traditions (including that of my own Northern European lineage). To learn more about my most favorite modalities and the tools I offer, check out this article.