Relationships As Cauldrons of Evolution
Before we begin, for the purposes of this class, “relationships” refer to any relationship with others. Platonic, romantic, professional, and/or anything else. Relationships are truly divine gifts. Through others, we are able to develop a stronger sense of self. We can learn how we do not want to be, we can become inspired as dormant parts of ourselves are activated and remembered through the wisdom and guidance of another, and more.
A relationship is a container, a structure. There are two beings giving and receiving and through their partnership, a third energy is created. There can be no “relationship” without the two beings coming together to form a third, which is the “relationship.” regardless of the nature of the relationship (platonic, romantic, professional, parent-child, “enemies,” etc.), there is a transformation taking place.
What have been some of the most influential relationships in your life?
What relationships have changed you forever?
What have been the most valuable lessons you’ve learned in relationships?
What challenges do you have in relationships?
Alchemy + Birthing A Third Energy
Alchemy is the art of two seemingly different things coming together to create a third. As mentioned above, this is THE definition of a relationship. They are transformational by nature. They require sacrifices, giving and receiving, communication, tending. They’re not a one and done type of thing. All relationships have a giving and receiving component. The challenge for many sensitives is that
they’re giving more than they’re receiving.
The alchemical balance is compromised and the true potential of the relationship isn’t realized. Due to the fluid, dynamic nature of human relationships, the pendulum will sometimes swing from side to side. For example, if caring for a child, you’re definitely going to be “giving” more – however, that doesn’t mean you’re also receiving. How can you broaden your perspective on receiving?
In healthy adult relationships, there may times when a partner is going through a health challenge, has returned to school, is going through an extra demanding time with their work, etc. and aren’t able to “give” as much. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t giving.
How can you widen your perspective on giving?
What’s your relationship with receiving? Do you allow yourself to receive as much as you give? If not, why? What’s the story around that?
What is the most harmonious relationship in your life at the moment? What makes it such?
What is the most imbalanced relationship in your life at the moment? What’s needed for more harmony?
Relationships + The Sensitive’s Pattern
Most introverted, sensitive, empathic souls tend to have some patterns in their relationships. Most of them go something like this: Like all humans, you have needs and boundaries. Yet, you feel ashamed of them, overwhelmed by them, and unworthy of having them. Therefore, they go unexpressed.
Another scenario: You avoid getting close to others entirely because you know that inevitably means the possibility of having to express your needs and show yourself will arise. In essence, there’s avoidance and resistance and both end in feeling resentful, depleted, lonely, and unfulfilled. What do you notice in your patterns?
Feeling Our Partners
Another challenge that arises is feeling unclear of what’s yours and what’s theirs. In a neglected sensitive system, energetic boundaries tend to be weak. If you struggle with distinguishing what’s yours and theirs, the invitation is to become more intimate with yourself, to strengthen your voice, and to protect your sovereignty. How does your partner’s state impact you? How can you strengthen your energetic boundaries to maintain your space without their influence?
Boundaries + Needs
To experience more depth, richness, and the totality of our being, we must receive and give the good medicine of relationships. This doesn’t mean we must sacrifice our needs or boundaries. Quite the contrary! Relationships provide us with excellent opportunities to practice and strengthen these aspects of ourselves! How do we know what our boundaries are if there’s no one there to flirt with the edges? How do we know our true needs if we’re not allowing ourselves to give and receive fully in relationship?
Check out this article and podcast on 3 Steps to Setting Boundaries.
Notice your relationship patterns (as discussed previously in this document and throughout the class). What’s something you can practice in a safe relationship so that you can begin to rewire this pattern to experience more nourishment in relationship?
How would it feel to be more nourished, expressed, received, and fed in relationship? What needs to change in order for this to happen? Hint: it’s probably what you DON’T want to do!
Practice 4-Level Check-In regularly when around others to continue to strengthen your own sense of self and energetic boundaries. With practice, you’ll find yourself more easily and firmly planted in your boundaries, aware of your dynamic needs, and experience the rich wonder of all relationships – especially the challenging ones.
The InnerSpark Method
The InnerSpark Method is a revolutionary, whole-person approach for deep-feeling, sensitive women that gets to the real ROOT of burnout, overthinking, people-pleasing, anxiety, and that constant sense of "there's something wrong with me."
The InnerSpark Method is a profound inward journey of self-discovery, self-healing, and self-mastery that exists to strengthen and empower sensitive, deep-feeling women to transform challenge into resource and create their own lifelong pathways towards wholeness, thriving, growth, and transformation.