“I feel like I’ve lost touch with what I actually enjoy and I don’t even know what I want anymore. How do I know if something is truly aligned for me, or just something I think I should want?”

This is one of the most honest and important questions we can ask ourselves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3ep4NZ63MI

And if you’ve ever found yourself asking some version of it, I want you to know that you’re not alone.

The truth is that many of us spend years—sometimes decades—building lives around what we think we should want.

We absorb messages from our families, culture, schools, workplaces, social media, religious communities, wellness spaces, and the people around us.

We learn what success is supposed to look like.

What health is supposed to look like.

What spirituality is supposed to look like.

What productivity is supposed to look like.

What happiness is supposed to look like.

And after enough years of absorbing those messages, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish between what is truly ours and what we’ve inherited.

Have You Lost Touch With Yourself?

I don’t actually believe most people are disconnected from what they want.

I think they’re disconnected from their ability to hear it.

And perhaps even more importantly, from their ability to trust what they hear.

The Bhagavad Gita tells us that the Divine is situated in the hearts of all beings, guiding them from within. The problem is rarely that guidance is absent. More often, we’ve become too distracted to hear it.

Our inner wisdom becomes buried beneath:

• Opinions
• Expectations
• Advice
• Algorithms
• Comparisons
• Cultural norms
• Endless information

At some point, many people stop asking:

What do I want?

And begin asking:

What am I supposed to want?

Those are very different questions.

The Problem Isn’t a Lack of Information

When people feel disconnected from themselves, they often assume they need more information.

Another book.

Another podcast.

Another course.

Another expert.

Another personality test.

Another framework.

Another opinion.

They go searching for themselves as if they are lost somewhere outside of themselves waiting to be discovered.

But in many cases, the opposite is true. The issue isn’t a lack of information. It’s an excess of it. Sometimes what we need most is not another voice. It’s enough silence and stillness to hear our own.

What We Truly Want Is Often Simpler Than We Think

When we slow down enough to listen, something surprising often happens. We discover that what we truly want is much simpler than what we’ve been chasing.

Nature rarely seems confused about what it wants.

A sunflower turns toward the sun. Vines reach for support. Birds build nests. Life naturally moves toward nourishment, connection, growth, and belonging. We do too.

At our core, most of us long for:

• Love
• Connection
• Meaning
• Purpose
• Rest
• Time in nature
• Creative expression
• Presence
• A life that feels true to us

And yet those things can feel surprisingly difficult to claim because they don’t always align with the stories we’ve been taught.

A Question Worth Sitting With

One of my favorite questions is this:

If nobody would ever know about this choice, would I still want it?

If nobody could praise you.

If nobody could validate you.

If nobody could be impressed by you.

Would you still choose it?

Because alignment is often quiet.

It doesn’t always look impressive.

Sometimes it looks like saying no.

Sometimes it looks like resting.

Sometimes it looks like gardening.

Or reading.

Or creating something simply because you enjoy it.

Sometimes alignment looks deeply ordinary.

Your Body Knows

Another question I invite people to explore is:

How does this make me feel in my body?

Not:

• What do I think about it?
• What are the pros and cons?
• What would other people say?

Instead:

How does it feel?

Expansive? Grounding? Alive? Curious? Heavy? Contracting? Draining? Performative?

Our bodies often recognize the truth long before our minds catch up.

The Real Work

Many people have spent so long overriding themselves that they’ve forgotten how wise they actually are.

They’ve learned to trust everyone else’s voice before their own. They’ve become fluent in self-abandonment.

Which is why this question isn’t really about figuring out what you want. It’s about rebuilding trust with yourself.

You don’t need to figure out your entire life. You don’t need to discover your grand purpose. You don’t need a ten-year plan.

You only need to begin noticing.

What feels nourishing?

What leaves you feeling more alive?

What gives you energy?

What drains it?

What feels like coming home?

Those tiny nudges and flickers of insight matter. Over time, they form a trail.

A Season of Remembering

I often think that alignment is less about finding yourself and more about removing what isn’t you.

The stories, expectations, conditioning, noise.

What remains is often surprisingly simple. Maybe not easy to claim. But simple.

If you’ve lost touch with what you enjoy or what you want, I want to offer you this:

Maybe nothing is wrong. You’re not lost. Maybe it’s simply time for a season of remembering, listening, and coming back into deep relationship with yourself and life itself.

Across many traditions, healing, liberation, and awakening are described not as acquiring something new, but as remembering what has been forgotten.

Your inner wisdom is still there. The Divine is still there. The guidance has not left. Perhaps it’s simply time to become still enough to hear it again.

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