The Power of Surrender: The Death Doula + The Lover

Surrender. That is probably one of the more challenging things about the humxn experience. Surrendering has two distinct, yet subtly different aspects to it represented on InnerSpark’s Wheel of Frequencies as The Lover at Beltane, late spring before summer, and The Death Doula at Samhain, late autumn before winter.

This is the axis of surrender in its two different forms. Surrendering into life and then surrendering into death.

Surrendering Into Life: The Lover

Surrendering into life asks that we release our self-will, or egotistical attachments to “me/I.” It asks that we surrender our plans and desires so that we may flow in our full authenticity, allowing our Truest Self to guide us. It asks that we remove attachments to stubborn insistances upon doing things “our way.” This process better prepares us for the finessing and forging of ourselves through devotional discipline that The Blacksmith archetype brings us at summer solstice.

Through surrendering into life with The Lover, there’s a merging of self and Divine; small self and high Self.

Surrendering Into Death: The Death Doula

On the other side of the axis, we have surrendering into death. This asks that we release any attachment to what has been, what we’ve created, and what we’ve known. This supports our creation process once more as we’re then able to start fresh once more after the rest and rejuventation that winter, or The Void archetype, will bring.

Often, this aspect of surrender through The Death Doula asks that we release more than perhaps we’ve thought possible or ever have before. It can feel disorienting and sometimes jarring to lay down our masks, our burdens, our beliefs in this way. Even when we’re leading with a sense of our divinity, our high self, there can still be an attachment to what has been created – even if it was created without an attachment to any kind of outcome.

The creations and outcomes can certainly be pretty sweet and then we’re asked, yet again, to even release this because something (an experience, a relationship, a behavior) has run its course and has given us all that it will give us. At this point, we surrender into death and find a sense of liberation and completion, and a time to digest and integrate without the burdens.

The Sides of Surrender

Both sides of surrender are so nuanced and subtle, yet distinct and necessary. Surrendering into creation, and then surrendering into destruction. Both life affirming, life giving, orgasmic bliss, yet one a beginning and the other an ending.

The essence and energy of spring brings newness. The essence and energy of autumn brings completions. Both require surrender and trust, and both are absolutely vital.

The Lover may ask us what we’re ready to give up for the union to take place within. This can be an attachment to our sense of self and our self-identity. This can be stubbornness and an unwillingness to do things other than “our way.” This can be metaphorically seen as the plants leave the comfort of their seeds and instinctively reach towards the light of the sun, knowing there’s something else, knowing they can’t do it alone. They follow their lover, the sun.

The Death Doula may ask us if we’re ready to release all we’ve created, been comfortable with, have identified as – even if all done so from a place of unattachment. This is perfectly seen in nature as the leaves fall from the trees. The leaves, once tended to so preciously by the trees as they nurtured and grew them, now fall freely and tenderly, dying into their next life as compost for all that will come once more.

Where Can You Surrender?

True healing comes when we can recognize and embody all the faces of The Mother – The Lover and The Death Doula included. As we dance with the ever-spiraling energies within and around us, we may know ourselves on profound levels, life feels good, our bodies come into wholeness and harmony, and anything unnecessary simply falls away, like the autumn leaves.

Surrender. That is probably one of the more challenging things about the humxn experience. Surrendering has two distinct, yet subtly different aspects to it represented on InnerSpark’s Wheel of Frequencies as The Lover at Beltane, late spring before summer, and The Death Doula at Samhain, late autumn before winter.

This is the axis of surrender in its two different forms. Surrendering into life and then surrendering into death.

Surrendering Into Life: The Lover

Surrendering into life asks that we release our self-will, or egotistical attachments to “me/I.” It asks that we surrender our plans and desires so that we may flow in our full authenticity, allowing our Truest Self to guide us. It asks that we remove attachments to stubborn insistances upon doing things “our way.” This process better prepares us for the finessing and forging of ourselves through devotional discipline that The Blacksmith archetype brings us at summer solstice.

Through surrendering into life with The Lover, there’s a merging of self and Divine; small self and high Self.

Surrendering Into Death: The Death Doula

On the other side of the axis, we have surrendering into death. This asks that we release any attachment to what has been, what we’ve created, and what we’ve known. This supports our creation process once more as we’re then able to start fresh once more after the rest and rejuventation that winter, or The Void archetype, will bring.

Often, this aspect of surrender through The Death Doula asks that we release more than perhaps we’ve thought possible or ever have before. It can feel disorienting and sometimes jarring to lay down our masks, our burdens, our beliefs in this way. Even when we’re leading with a sense of our divinity, our high self, there can still be an attachment to what has been created – even if it was created without an attachment to any kind of outcome.

The creations and outcomes can certainly be pretty sweet and then we’re asked, yet again, to even release this because something (an experience, a relationship, a behavior) has run its course and has given us all that it will give us. At this point, we surrender into death and find a sense of liberation and completion, and a time to digest and integrate without the burdens.

The Sides of Surrender

Both sides of surrender are so nuanced and subtle, yet distinct and necessary. Surrendering into creation, and then surrendering into destruction. Both life affirming, life giving, orgasmic bliss, yet one a beginning and the other an ending.

The essence and energy of spring brings newness. The essence and energy of autumn brings completions. Both require surrender and trust, and both are absolutely vital.

The Lover may ask us what we’re ready to give up for the union to take place within. This can be an attachment to our sense of self and our self-identity. This can be stubbornness and an unwillingness to do things other than “our way.” This can be metaphorically seen as the plants leave the comfort of their seeds and instinctively reach towards the light of the sun, knowing there’s something else, knowing they can’t do it alone. They follow their lover, the sun.

The Death Doula may ask us if we’re ready to release all we’ve created, been comfortable with, have identified as – even if all done so from a place of unattachment. This is perfectly seen in nature as the leaves fall from the trees. The leaves, once tended to so preciously by the trees as they nurtured and grew them, now fall freely and tenderly, dying into their next life as compost for all that will come once more.

Where Can You Surrender?

True healing comes when we can recognize and embody all the faces of The Mother – The Lover and The Death Doula included. As we dance with the ever-spiraling energies within and around us, we may know ourselves on profound levels, life feels good, our bodies come into wholeness and harmony, and anything unnecessary simply falls away, like the autumn leaves.

The InnerSpark Method

Timeless Wisdom to become Naturally Resilient

Transform life's storms and cultivate peace, resilience, and vitality with Nature's wisdom.

Dive deep into nature’s rhythms, unraveling from the complexities and strains of modern life, and align yourself with the ebb and flow that has sustained life for millennia.

Drawing from nature, our eternal mentor, we glean lessons of steadfastness, flow, and unity.

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The InnerSpark Method bridges that gap, guiding you back to your innate resilience and rhythm, reigniting your zest for life and sense of purpose.

Come discover a whole-person, trauma-informed system of Nature's self-care to rekindle natural cadences across all dimensions of your being -  whether it's the physicality of daily routines, the depths of emotional resilience, the realms of mental clarity, the vibrations of energy, the art of relationships, or the ethereal world of spirituality.

More Seasonal Living + Earth Wisdom:

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Greetings! I’m Devon Ray Battaglia, MS, AHA, ACC. As an Integrative Health Expert, Ayurvedic Health Advisor, and Holistic Life Coach, I’ve devoted myself to living and sharing the timeless wisdom of Nature’s rhythms to unlock our natural resilience and joy!

I mentor individuals like you on a heartfelt journey toward the life-changing simplicity and nourishment of living in sync with Nature.

Ready to transform life’s storms, amplify resilience, boost health and vitality, reconnect with your InnerSpark, and discover a life overflowing with peace, confidence, and clarity?

Click here to learn more about me and The InnerSpark Method.

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