Spirituality isn’t religion and many people that are religious are not actually spiritual. Spirituality is a way of viewing the world. It’s a way of thinking, feeling, and believing. It’s a way of surrendering to the greater flow, the Great Web of Life, cosmic order, Source, The Mother, whatever you like to call it. It’s a continued practice of authentically communing with your Self without dogma, egoic blocks, fears, and trauma.
What is Spiritual Trauma?
Trauma comes in many shades. It’s not a matter of if you’re experienced trauma, but when it was, the profundity of it, and how its impacts linger today.
Spiritual trauma exists extensively in our culture and it’s largely due to religion. For several thousand years, we’ve been operating out of a monotheistic paradigm that comes complete with lots of dogmatic, punitive, and disempowering systems. This paradigm is strict, often times merciless, and creates a structure wherein Source and divinity exist outside of you.
It’s also a prime source in creating and perpetuating Feminine Shame.
Frequently Asked Questions About Feminine Shame
What is Feminine Shame?
What is Feminine Shame:
Shame is an often misunderstood state that we do our best to avoid – and about which we rarely speak! However, it is a natural, necessary response that arises when we perceive our sense of safety, belonging, contentment, and/or joy to be in jeopardy. It motivates us to make change so that we may repair our sense of safety, belonging, contentment, and/or joy.
Feminine Shame, a phenomenon and concept created by InnerSpark, is when we perceive ourselves, in our innate, natural state, to be the barrier towards our sense of safety, belonging, contentment, and/or joy simply because of our existence and presence. It is an intense and deeply held resistance, aversion, resentment, and fear towards anything that is soft, transient, cyclical, fluid, passive, nurturing, intuitive, an/or emotional in nature.
It is a shame towards that which is natural in a world attempting to get us on board with what’s “normal.”
This learned disconnection leads us into a perpetual state of “not enough.” We feel wrong, bad, unworthy, fundamentally flawed just for existing. As a species, we’ve lost our taproot and have learned that it’s better to ignore the innate naturalness of our being, unless we wish to open ourselves to scrutiny, judgement, and more shame. What we’ve learned and emulated across many generations now, largely due to Puritanical programming, isn’t “natural,” although we’ve come to certainly view it as “normal.”
Living with Feminine Shame is a constant fight between natural and normal and an internalization that there’s something wrong with us. We are disconnected from our InnerSpark and continually seek cues and validation externally. This compartmentalized way of life makes everything harder and wreaks havoc on us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and contributes to dis-ease on a massive scale.
Why Does Feminine Shame Exist?
Why Does Feminine Shame Exist:
The root cause of feminine shame is in the programs that have taught us to shun our naturalness and to view it as wrong, bad, sinful. Since so much of our world in its natural state is meant to encompass these qualities (our physical bodies, the cycles of the Earth, the stages of life, growth, and aging, and more), it’s an unfortunate truth that we’ll all experience this feminine shame at some point our lives to varying degrees.
Always striving to fit into a rigid, external measure of “normal,” willing ourselves to continue the quest when what would truly bring us back to wholeness is embracing our natural state and our Spirally essence.
Who Does Feminine Shame Impact?
Who Does Feminine Shame Impact:
Feminine Shame impacts everyone – regardless of gender or physical anatomy. It’s an abstract, permeating concept that mostly refers to shame towards that which is natural and has virtually nothing to do with gender or anatomy.
It is when we believe our very natural existence and presence, especially those aspects that are fluid and natural, are the source of our sense of safety, belonging, contentment, and/or joy being in jeopardy.
While womxn do tend to experience it more directly, as a species, we’ve undoubtedly come to a place where the essence of “feminine,” or the Spiral Principle is not held with high regard. We are all impacted, as is our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health and the health of our planet.
How Do We Heal Feminine Shame?
How Do We Heal Feminine Shame:
We heal Feminine Shame intentionally, compassionately, gently, and lovingly. We do so by embracing what’s natural and letting go of what’s been deemed “normal.”
In The InnerSpark Method, a system for supporting deep-feeling, sensitive women in breaking the cycles of burnout, people-pleasing, anxiety, and constantly trying to “fix” themselves, we heal Feminine Shame through five phase approach: befriending the body, managing our energy system (with resources like InnerSpark’s Energy Management Tools) and connecting with our emotions, mastering our mind, and aligning with Nature’s wisdom and rhythms.
We do so by reconnecting with ourselves, our InnerSpark, to see the parts of ourselves riddled with shame. We do so in community where we allow ourselves to be seen and witness each other. We come back to a state of reverent balance and holistic living and thriving.
After being indoctrinated with this for several generations, the ill-effects are becoming apparent. One of the consequences is a challenging time experiencing authentic spirituality. Spirituality, as I mentioned previously, is a reflective, introspective, on-going journey. Finding Source within directly contradicts the existing religious paradigm which creates a block. Another block comes in the form of confusing religion and spirituality. With this at play, people find themselves wanting nothing to do with any of it and continually feel lost and disempowered.
Why Create Spiritual Relationship With Myself?
A key component in creating a life that feels wholly nourishing, purposeful, and provides the foundation for true holistic living, some kind of relationship with something greater than yourself must be actualized.
You are an individual, yet you are not. You are the person you think you are, yet you are not.
By and large the people we think we are simply illusions maintained and fueled by neurotic delusions. Our “small” selves can only get us so far before we must surrender to the greater forces at play. We are simultaneously the dreamers and the dreams; the creators and the creations. When we see ourselves as the avatars and little, fleeting embodiments of Source that we really are, life becomes so much more magical, fluid, and full of ease.
Creating an authentic spiritual relationship must become the cornerstone of your life in order to heal feminine shame and fully actualize your soul’s purpose and potential in this life. It’s required for healing physical dis-ease, cultivating more meaningful relationships with the people in your life, creating meaningful work that supports you and the planet, helps us make aligned choices and take the right actions for us, and so much more.
How to Be More Spiritual?
This is a very personal journey that will look differently for each person. In my work, I strive to create the space necessary for my clients to feel safe enough to openly explore the ways in which they view spirituality, how they wish for their spiritual relationship to look, and what traumas they may be carrying from religion or pseudo-spiritual backgrounds.
There’s no one answer to how to be more spiritual. A spiritual life involves living in a constant state of self-inquiry, observing oneself, and questioning everything with childlike wonder. Any and all of the resources I provide equip you with the awareness necessary to begin this beautiful quest of living in alignment with the Source of your understanding. Peruse these tools for support:
Nature is not this separate entity that exists outside. You are Nature. Nature is you. There is no distinction.
At its core, Shadow Work is a process of integrating parts of ourselves we’ve disowned, shunned, or bypassed with the purpose of reclaiming and empowering ourselves through our trials and traumas.
We can’t truly change the tangible, gross manifestations of our lives without tending to the subtle building blocks that make up those very manifestations, and understanding the power of these subtle and unseen energies is vital to the success of any holistic practice.
Yoga is the ongoing process of personal alchemy in which our human and spirit selves unite, becoming physical embodiments of light and love, soul animating human form…
he practice of meditation provides an avenue to continue the process of knowing thyself, which for the sensitive soul is especially imperative…
The InnerSpark Method
The InnerSpark Method is a revolutionary, whole-person approach for deep-feeling, sensitive women that gets to the real ROOT of burnout, overthinking, people-pleasing, anxiety, and that constant sense of "there's something wrong with me."
The InnerSpark Method is a profound inward journey of self-discovery, self-healing, and self-mastery that exists to strengthen and empower sensitive, deep-feeling women to transform challenge into resource and create their own lifelong pathways towards wholeness, thriving, growth, and transformation.
This is the foundation for life we all should have received. It’s a living, breathing framework and map back home to yourself.
Sweet Soul, it’s time to live from your InnerSpark.
I’ve got you.
More Holistic Living + Healing:
On the journey of healing and preventing burnout, overthinking, people-pleasing, shame, and anxiety, the goal isn’t to be “calm.” This often is just bypassing and won’t do you any good in the long run… The goal is to build our capacity and resilience for being with the discomfort so we may find sustainable, lasting change […]