Sensitive, deep-feeler, what has social anxiety driven you to do…? How have you coped with it?

Social anxiety is something so many sensitive, deep-feeling people experience for a variety of reasons.

Most of the time, however, the anxiety is a manifestation of shame we carry around being ourselves – sensitivity and all.

We fear being different, judged, not liked, and ultimately not safe for simply being ourselves.

Here’s a simple four step process for uncovering the true need underneath social anxiety.

Shame shows up when we perceive our sense of safety, belonging, contentment, and/or joy to be in jeopardy.

What bigger perceived threat to all of that than being around a bunch of people in a different setting?!

No wonder we feel all the angst and all the ick when in these situations.

As I teach my clients in The InnerSpark Method, let times of struggle and challenge and ick be your best teachers. Rather than trying to run away from them or hurry to try and “fix” them, let them teach you about your greatest needs.

Reflect back on a time when social anxiety really showed up for you.

• Tune into your body – What was the felt sensation of the experience? Where did you feel anxiety in your body? How did you know what was happening in order to label it?
• Tune into your emotions – What was there emotionally during the experience? Dig beneath the surface-level emotions of “worry” or “anxiety” and see what’s there masquerading as worry or anxiety. Perhaps sadness, fear, grief… Lean in.
• Tune into the mind – What stories and thoughts were running through your mind? Perhaps a believing that others were judging you? Perhaps letting yourself believe something someone once said about you (“You’re too sensitive.”) and being afraid that others will see it, too.
• Tune into your most subtle level of intuition/energy/Spirit – What did you most need in that situation? How do you authentically feel? What do you most need and want for yourself moving forward?

Use this process for anything that feels challenging to you to discover the true, unmet need beneath the surface. Share with me how it goes for you!