Do you feel like you’ve been fighting against the current for way too long? Are you tired of being a perpetual project? I’m not going to ask you if you’re ready for the truth, because I already know that you are. You’re ready for TRUE healing.
You’ve tried all that other stuff and it just doesn’t work, does it? Maybe you found a way to something that you thought you wanted, like a few pounds lost or temporarily improved relationships, but it never lasts. It doesn’t last because it’s not real, and you’re still not happy. In other words, it’s not sustainable.
TRUE healing comes from true power, and true power is not about forcing some change into your life with an iron will and white-hot determination.
True power is subtle.
The physical body that you occupy in this dense, physical world is made up of many subtle parts and forces all working together. TRUE healing happens when these subtle pieces are brought into harmonious alignment with your intentions and desires. This means that if you’re trying to “fix” the physical manifestation of a problem then you’re always going to be applying one quick-fix surface-solution after another. Exhausting, right?
I’ve used the example of a leaky boat many times before. The gross, physical challenge is that you have water in your boat. The subtle root cause is that pinhole leak down in the bilge. Now, you could keep scooping water out and hope that you don’t sink (and drown), or you could take the time to come ashore and tend to the leak once and for all. It’s in working with the subtle, unseen things that results in real, sustainable change.
Creating Real, Sustainable Change
I’ve seen that kind of situation far too often, not only with my clients but in my own life, as well. I once lost 75 pounds by dieting with maniacal strictness just to gain it all back when that unsustainable way of life finally and inevitably collapsed. It didn’t last because I hadn’t tapped into my true power to unlock TRUE healing.
When I finally did have that breakthrough and started treating myself with love and compassion, taking care of the subtle causes of my dis-ease, I became happier and healthier than I ever was before, and I’ve stayed that way ever since.
What was behind that breakthrough? The realization into the real problem. It wasn’t the weight or my “lack of willpower.” It was shame, specifically Feminine Shame, that was steering me all wrong and coming between me and my body, my intuition, my desires, my true power.
I’m saying all of this just to let you know that I’ve danced this dance and I know how it goes. It’s a pattern that gets repeated so often that I’ve decided to put together what I call The 7 Pieces of TRUE Healing. This is not a strict protocol or one-size-fits-all solution. This is just a collection of lessons that I’ve gained from years of practice and trial-and-error. I hope that by understanding The 7 Pieces of TRUE Healing, or even just by understanding the relationship between TRUE healing and true power, you can save yourself some of the time and energy that would have otherwise been wasted. Let’s get started.
The First Piece of TRUE Healing
The first piece of TRUE healing is deep and whole embodiment. Your body is the physical platform on which your nervous system rides and is the vessel through which all of your worldly experiences are processed. Made with the minerals of the Earth and enlivened with the energy of your spirit, this body is the anchor that allows you to explore worlds inside and out while still having a safe place to land.
Pay attention when you’re feeling triggered or like life is starting to get crazy or out of control. How are you perceiving textures? What thoughts, mental stories, or emotional responses are you feeling? Track the sensations that arise while engaging with the physical body and I promise you will discover the most profound insights.
Deep embodiment starts with compassionate presence. Resist judging yourself for feeling a certain way or having a certain perception. If you recoil from your own embodied experience then you’ll never achieve that depth for which you’re longing. Be present and honest and compassionate with yourself right where you are in this moment.
It may feel silly to ask yourself how you’re doing or what you need, especially when there’s no response, but remember that you’re building trust with yourself. There are parts of you that were perhaps forced into silence from childhood, and other parts that had been stifled in adolescence and adulthood, and those parts need to be coaxed back out and allowed to live and breathe. Years of neglect won’t be forgotten on the first try. Building trust with yourself is like building trust with a child, and you know how you build trust with a child? You show up, every single day, rain or shine. Just keep showing up. Keep showing up every single day, until you can learn to trust yourself again.
Something else that you need to be aware of when engaging with the physical body is that our bodies are living records that tell stories going back several generations. I’m not just talking about genetics here. I’m talking about how our ancestors have experienced trauma in their own lives that caused physical and energetic imprints that changed them and have been passed down to us. This doesn’t have to be all mystical and esoteric, it can be as simple as a story about a grandparent who survived the Great Depression and has passed on a sense of scarcity and thus a fear of taking risks. These kinds of traumas affect us physiologically and psychologically and you don’t have to be a spiritually-minded person to see how far the fruit falls from the tree! Learn more about ancestral healing here.
The Second Piece of TRUE Healing
The second piece of TRUE healing is creativity and sacred sexuality. Sadly, we live in a day and age where shame and guilt have become part of the collective burden that we all share. Shame is the biggest obstacle to TRUE healing, especially when it causes us to lose touch with our creativity and sacred sexuality through unmet needs and unspoken boundaries. Shame causes a disconnect that prevents us from knowing or acknowledging what’s truly pleasurable to us. If we don’t know what’s pleasurable to us how will we ever have a truly present, nourishing, abundant, and purposeful life?
There’s a tragic spiral that so many of us get caught in where we feel shame or guilt about something that we’ve been taught is wrong, and so we turn to other things like food, booze, or drugs, and then we become ashamed of that behavior, too. As shame piles upon shame we get wedged further and further away from what we really need and embodying our authentic essence.
What we need is to allow ourselves to receive pleasure, and to access higher states of consciousness that are available to us when we’re in creative flow, or when we’re allowing pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, into our lives. By reconnecting with these aspects of ourselves we are uniting our earthly selves with our higher selves to create a relationship, a third energy, that gets to be our Heaven-on-Earth.
The Third Piece of TRUE Healing
The third piece of TRUE healing is exercising your personal power. One of the biggest jokes in life is that we are somehow powerless or simply victims of circumstance. You are the creator of your own experience. You have created everything! Your subtle inputs have created your gross experience. If you don’t like the physical byproduct of your subtle realms, you have the power to recreate and rebirth it.
I’m not criticizing or blaming anybody for how they live or how they feel. I’m inviting you to consider something very carefully. If you’ve created your current status quo based on pacification and sleepwalking, doing what you’ve been taught and hiding behind armors and masks (I mean look around you, you created this!), imagine what you could create when you decide to wake up and act from a place of clarity and conscious intention. This awakening is radically different than what we’ve been shown and if what we’ve been shown worked, there would be a lot less dis-ease in our physical experiences.
The Fourth Piece of TRUE Healing
The fourth piece of TRUE healing is unconditional love and acceptance. In the first piece of true healing, I invited you to be compassionate with yourself while you re-establish that connection to the physical body. Now I’m challenging you to go a step further. Don’t just tolerate yourself, but love and accept yourself unconditionally.
That’s the only way to actualize (and maintain) the sustainable change that we’ve been talking about this whole time. Remember that 75 pounds of lost-and-found-again weight that I had mentioned? The first time I lost it wasn’t with an attitude of self-love and self-acceptance. That’s why the weight came back. I still had something to learn from it, that fear and punishment from the outside-in are not sustainable ways to make change. It has to be love and acceptance, from the inside-out.
We must forgive and honor every single step of our journey that has brought us to where we are, right here and now.
And if forgiveness is something that you are struggling with, either in forgiving yourself or another person, then you need to know that this is a sign that there’s a part of yourself that you’re not loving. Sometimes we internalize what other people say or do. We find a way to blame ourselves and create shame and guilt that gets directed inward. So there’s that part of ourselves that we set up as an effigy to be burnt for all the world’s wrongs, and that’s the part that needs our love and forgiveness the most. It has to start within.
The Fifth Piece of TRUE Healing
The fifth piece of TRUE healing is compassionate self expression. Expression is detoxification. Period. Consider that the brain is the single most energy-consuming organ in the body. Your heart, a ball of muscle constantly pushing viscous fluids through miles of tubular veins and arteries. Your lungs, which cycle hundreds of cubic feet of air every day, neither of these organs even come close to the amount of chemical energy required by your brain on a daily basis.
So if you imagine a pie that represents your daily energy intake, the biggest slice would go to your brain. Now, imagine that big slice gets divided into smaller slices that represent the things you do with your brain. How big would the slice be that represents the things you’re not expressing? It takes a lot of energy to stifle your truth. What if it weren’t a pie, but a clock that ticks away not just hours and minutes, but your whole life? Life is a series of days, and every day you’re dedicating some of your pie, some precious ticks of your clock, to holding yourself back. Your time and energy are being drained by your silent self-created vampire named Fear.
We’re highly sensitive creatures, and we’re so unique, it all adds up to a fear of expressing that uniqueness. But when we finally do express it’s a moment of healing, not only for ourselves but for the collective at-large. When we stifle our expression we are doing more than just denying ourselves. We’re missing an opportunity to teach, to learn, to bond, and to impact someone’s life. This mental and emotional traffic jam creates pile-ups that derail our health and vitality, creating toxicity in our whole system. Move that energy, let it flow!
The Sixth Piece of TRUE Healing
The sixth piece of TRUE healing is strengthening the intuition. Only we know what’s best for us. Only we can receive our visions and our dreams. Our intuition is often challenged because we live in our heads and favor what’s “logical” or “scientifically proven” over our innate knowing.
Being lied to about reality despite knowing the contrary can also create a disconnect. We often see this in people that grew up in dysfunctional households, especially if there was drug or alcohol use. Children have the greatest intuition because they haven’t been taught to mistrust themselves. When kids are in a situation where they know that what they’re seeing isn’t normal but the adults around them are normalizing it they can be trained not to listen to their gut feelings.
We can experience this as adults as well, when we know something’s not right but we’re being told the opposite. This happens a lot in our fast-paced disinformation-age of alternative facts that has us checked out of our bodies, our instincts, and our intuition. This why the first piece of TRUE healing is embodiment. Deep embodiment will always be the foundation and the anchor. Intuitive knowings present themselves in your physical body, and your physical body is your translator, it’s your messenger.
Strengthening your intuition is key on your true healing journey. I don’t care what you are wishing to transmute and manifest in your life, be it a new job or your relationship or your physical health, intuitively knowing what is best for you and trusting that intuition is crucial.
The Seventh Piece of TRUE Healing
The seventh piece of TRUE healing is connecting to Source. It is imperative that we connect to a higher power of our own understanding. It takes a lot of pressure off of us to know that the whole universe isn’t just resting on our shoulders. It helps us to soften and surrender to the currents of life.
There is a primal force which animates and enlivens all things, and it’s in you, too.
If you see that as a divine entity or energy or spirit, great! Whatever works for you. I just want to be clear that what I’m telling you here is not in conflict with any religion or spirituality that you practice. I’ve been asked before, many times, if somebody can still be [insert religion here] and also practice this kind of spirituality and I’m telling you that whatever it is that you see as the mover-of-all-things is something that you need to have a felt connection with for multilevel healing and support. Your connection to the universe is a relationship, and all relationships require tending and deepening. If anything this will make you a better practitioner of whatever religion it is that you ascribe to! Read more here on cultivating authentic spirituality.
The 7 Pieces of TRUE Healing offer a fluid, living, breathing framework that is applicable to any situation and challenge you may encounter. Through employing these principles, you’ll deepen your relationship with your body, your needs, and your authentic essence. You’ll come to know, through compassionate self-witnessing and self-inquiry, what you most need and how to receive it. TRUE Healing is never linear. It is a sacred spiral. Join the dance and find your own sacred steps.
The InnerSpark Method
The InnerSpark Method is a revolutionary, whole-person approach for deep-feeling, sensitive women that gets to the real ROOT of burnout, overthinking, people-pleasing, anxiety, and that constant sense of "there's something wrong with me."
The InnerSpark Method is a profound inward journey of self-discovery, self-healing, and self-mastery that exists to strengthen and empower sensitive, deep-feeling women to transform challenge into resource and create their own lifelong pathways towards wholeness, thriving, growth, and transformation.
This is the foundation for life we all should have received. It’s a living, breathing framework and map back home to yourself.
Sweet Soul, it’s time to live from your InnerSpark.
I’ve got you.
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