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The Importance of Staying Connected to Self


Last updated on February 28th, 2021.

Last week was really busy for me and my partner. We’ve been working hard to improve our offerings through InnerSpark (like our new podcast; please subscribe here).  There were extra things around the house that have needed to be planned and researched, going to and from appointments, and worst of all was an injury suffered by our canine companion, Winslow (who’s probably had the hardest time of all, though he’s getting better now). It’s been a hell of a week and it has highlighted the importance of something that gets ignored or forgotten far too often these days: staying connected to Self.

I’m using Self with a capital S but that doesn’t mean that you have to think of this in any esoteric sense. When you are in right relationship with yourself, you will naturally come into right relationship with your Higher Power. The two are inseparable, so it really doesn’t matter if you want to reconnect with self or with Self, because they are always hand in hand.

I see this progression in my clients a lot: between working or running a business and running a household, it can feel like taking care of ourselves is a “luxury” and not a necessity.  After each task, the question becomes, “What’s next so I can be ‘productive’?” and there’s a very narrow definition of what it means to be productive. We look for things with measurable results and dedicate ourselves to those things in every moment, giving them our precious time and energy.

Moments become days and days become weeks, and at the end of it there’s just exhaustion.

Work that was once loved is now dreaded and everything just feels too heavy to lift. Our own bodies can seem like cumbersome things to be dragged through the day. Our minds become unfocused while even our eyelids start to feel like steel doors that we struggle to keep from closing.  The tragedy is that while we’re operating in this mode of “productivity,” we’re actually delivering less and less quality where we need it most.

When we push ourselves to work harder than we should, we are making a choice to ignore our own voice and that is the very act of turning away from our Self.

Our connection to Self is the source of our creativity and all authentic expression. How can we be connected when we’re turning away?

I cannot over emphasize how important it is to keep coming back to Self. When you take the time to reconnect with your physicalemotionalmental, and spiritual levels, you are bringing those four bodies into harmony and the resulting energy and potential can be incredible.

Re-establish Your Integrative Connection

The way we achieve this harmony is going to be different for each of us and can change over time. One important thing to remember is that self-care doesn’t just mean that you break your back all week and then go to a spa on the weekend. Self-care is a constant process that has to happen every single day.

Treat yourself with enough kindness to check in with your body and do some stretching. Notice where there is tension or looseness. Don’t try to change it, just move with it and acknowledge it. If you can lie down on your back with your legs and feet up a wall for a few minutes you’ll find that such a dramatic shift in perspective can cause immediate changes in your circulation and thought patterns.

(If you’re having a hard time slowing down and settling in then try the mindfulness meditations here.  You could also try this guided meditation or this guided video for some hands on self-healing.)

Your Physical Body

Whether lying, sitting, or standing, take a few deep breaths and observe your physical body. Bring your focus from the bottoms of your feet all the way up to the top of your head, slowly, thanking each part for its existence and thinking about how each part has served you. Think also about how you want to use them in the future. Do your hands want to craft something, do your legs want to run? If you can have a conversation with your body and appreciate the wants and needs of your various interconnected parts, then you’re sure to have a strong, healthy, and loving connection.

(Learn more about the Four Bodies and Whole Being Nourishment approach to the physical body here.)

Your Emotional Body

Check in with your feelings and respect them as parts of your emotional anatomy. How is your anxiety doing? How is your joy doing? Do not judge or dismiss your emotions any more than you would a part of your physical body. The analogy to the physical body is very simple, there are parts we show off and parts that we keep to ourselves, both physically and emotionally, but that doesn’t mean that any part is less worthy of our love.  Again, get the conversation going and the connection will be there.

(Learn more about the emotional body here.)

Your Mental Body

Are your creative and analytical sides being under-used or over-stimulated? Are you allowing distractions to derail or put extra miles on your trains of thought? Are you learning and growing, engaging your mind in challenges? Discover, discuss, and connect.

(Learn more about the mental body here.)

Your Spiritual Body

The way you approach spiritual matters is going to determine how you connect with your spiritual body. If “spiritual” isn’t resonating, think of this subtle realm of your existence as your “energetic body” or even “subtle body.”  You may just ask yourself how you feel spiritually/energetically and then see what answers come up, or you may have a more systematic approach. Some people understand the spiritual or energetic body as layers of aura, while others may rely more heavily on the chakra system. Whichever feels resonant, do not neglect this most important layer of your being as the subtle dictates the creation of the gross in every way imaginable. 

(Learn more about the spiritual body here.)

  • As you have these conversations, it’s important to ask each part what they need. Maybe your mental body could benefit from picking up an old hobby like playing a musical instrument from time to time. Maybe for you it’s puzzles or poetry or scripture.
  • Also, you may notice that whatever is being held in one area will be echoed in others. A spiritual concern can weigh on us mentally and make us emotionally raw. Mental and emotional dis-harmony will manifest itself as physical dis-ease.

Being exhausted and dis-jointed is like having four people trying to push a stalled car when they’re all pushing in different directions. Bringing these bodies into harmony is like getting those four people to work together.

Keep checking in with yourself several times each day and try to turn these many conversations into one flowing relationship where the connections between physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellness are solid and supported.

Our four bodies have served us well and it’s only right to serve them in return.

December 21, 2021 – February 2, 2022 (The Void Archetype): The Void is a place of formlessness that is in-between worlds. It’s a cocoon, a chrysalis for becoming and potentiality. It is the womb of The Mother. It’s a place of total rest for repairing, healing, restoration, and rejuvenation, before our re-animation. Is it time for you to rest deeply, Dear One? Are you feeling burnt out and unclear? Partner with The Void and re-establish your sacred spiral flow.

Connect with me through social media, email, or my podcast, Subtle Medicine!

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