Self-Care: What It Is, What It Is Not

Create deeper nourishment and self-actualization.

It all starts by looking inside and being brave enough to do what it takes to live from your InnerSpark.

What’s your reaction when you hear “self-care?” Be honest. My introduction to this concept granted me a chuckle and my harsh inner critic quickly whispered something like, “Yah, it’s for those weak people who can’t handle life; I can push through anything. Just buck up and put my big girl panties on and push through anything.”

Can you relate? This is a deep wound that stems from Feminine Shame.

Frequently Asked Questions About Feminine Shame

What is Feminine Shame:
Have you ever felt out of step with the world, simply for embracing the natural ebbs and flows within yourself? At InnerSpark, we define “Feminine Shame” as a deeply ingrained resistance towards that which is cyclical, fluid, nurturing, intuitive, or emotional. It’s the uneasy feeling that arises from being cyclical, intuitive, or in tune with seasonal rhythms in a world that often values linear progress and constants. This disconnect is what distances many from their true essence, their InnerSpark, causing them to feel adrift, overwhelmed, and detached from the comforting rhythms of nature. It’s feeling ashamed of our innate, tender nature in a world that parades “normal” over “natural.”
Rooted in centuries-old beliefs, Feminine Shame drives that whispering ghost of “not enough.” It convinces us we’re wrong, unworthy, flawed at our very core. We’ve been conditioned to see our natural state as abnormal, which distances us from our true selves. This tug-of-war between the natural and the “normal” drains us—physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, spiritually—leading to widespread dis-ease. It’s high time we ask: isn’t it time to bridge that gap? To finally come home to ourselves? That’s where The InnerSpark Method is your guide.

Why Does Feminine Shame Exist:
From our early years, society hands us a blueprint of how to “fit in.” This blueprint often discounts the beauty of nature’s spirals – the inherent fluctuations and cycles that we, as beings of this Earth, naturally resonate with. When these intrinsic rhythms, intuitions, and emotions are labeled as irregular or inconsistent, it creates a landscape where Feminine Shame finds fertile ground, urging us to adopt the “standard” instead of cherishing our unique spirally essence.

Who Does Feminine Shame Impact:
Feminine Shame isn’t reserved for a select few. Imagine a shroud, thin but omnipresent, covering everything and everyone. Feminine Shame is that shroud. It blankets us all, an invisible veil impacting every heart. Regardless of gender or anatomy, everyone feels its presence – the nudge to prioritize society’s “shoulds” over the nurturing call of nature. It’s the tension that arises when our natural desire for a holistic, integrative life clashes with societal expectations, leaving us yearning for authentic connections, rhythms, and a return to our true nature.

How Do We Heal Feminine Shame:
The path to healing starts with recognizing the value of our innate connection to nature’s cycles. By turning towards our own challenges and deepest desires, and embracing the rhythms that have always been a part of us, we can find grounding and resilience. It’s about harmonizing with nature’s wisdom, tapping into its rhythms for guidance, and shedding the layers that keep us from living organically and authentically. Together, as a community that sees, supports, and validates each other, we transition from feeling fragmented and out of sync to dancing in harmony with life’s beautiful, ever-changing spirals.

Living from that core wound has cost me my spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being on numerous occasions.

Self-care is not for the weak…

See, contrary to my former beliefs, self-care is not for “weak” people and it’s not reserved for times when you “can’t handle life.” Self-care is in fact for every single living person on the planet! And by practicing self-care consistently, we’re better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way.

Self-Care is Not Selfish

Self-care is not selfish, which is what I consistently hear from so many clients and used to think, as well. It’s selfless, actually. By ensuring your needs are met, you are more authentically and powerfully showing up for your life. Think about that for a moment and reflect upon past experiences.

What is self-care?

Self-care, according to my own, working definition, is mindfully developing the practice of asking yourself in each moment, “What do I need right now? How does this (whatever I’m doing) feel and do I need something else right now?” Perhaps I need to adjust my posture at the computer to show some love to my scoliosis back. Maybe it’s taking a deep breath because I am feeling stressed and forgot how to breathe momentarily!

Plainly, it’s tending to all levels of my being – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual – and ensuring deep nourishment for each. This deep nourishment at all levels yields my most vibrant self and I am better able to live in the moment and respond to life as it unfolds, which is where the magic truly happens.

  • At the physical level, it’s fueling up on wholesome, real foods, moving my body, or ensuring enough sleep.
  • At the emotional level, it’s being aware of my feelings and the messages they hold, connecting with my support team, and noticing where I’m not allowing myself to lighten up and enjoy!
  • Mentally, it may look like knowing when I need to wrap up my never-ending task list for the day and head outside to play with the dog or tend to my garden.
  • And, spiritually, it’s communing with nature and sitting in meditation to reconnect and recharge, or reading texts that quench my spiritual thirst.

Do this now:

Make a Nourishment Plan for yourself. Think of this as your new daily diet that goes waaaay beyond just food. Divide sections into physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Fill in each section accordingly with activities, people, feelings, needs, dreams, goals that feed and support each aspect of your being so it can thrive.

Does an area have you stumped? That’s a clue that it needs more attention.

Commit to developing a simple, daily practice of checking in with yourself and asking, “What do I need?” Take it a step further by actually honoring the need!

As is the case with most things, this gets easier and more intuitive with time, trust me.  You are a multidimensional being and it’s important to honor this and not ignore certain areas by overemphasizing others.

The InnerSpark Method

Learn to simplify your life, live Nature’s rhythms, and discover vibrant health, resilience, and joy.

As the digital age surges forward, our intimate connection to these timeless rhythms is diminishing, causing our physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual well being to teeter.

With a blend of modern and ancient wisdom modalities, The InnerSpark Method is a comprehensive, whole-life approach to natural thriving amidst modern living.

The InnerSpark Method draws from Nature’s timeless rhythms and incorporates tools from Integrative Health modalities such as Ayurveda, energy healing, holistic nutrition, life coaching, Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy, breathwork, meditation, and more.

Come discover a whole-person, trauma-informed system of Nature's self-care to rekindle natural cadences across all dimensions of your being.

Let’s embark on a transformative path from fragmented living to a sacred dynamic balance of vitality, and true connection.

More Holistic Living + Healing:

Sweet Soul, it’s time to heal Feminine Shame and tap back into what’s natural, real, wild, and magical.

The Uprooting Feminine Shame Podcast by Devon Ray Battaglia is for deep-feeling, overthinking womxn ready to identify the roots of their people-pleasing, burnout, and anxiety so they can discover their true, shame-free nature and confidently thrive in body, mind, and spirit. Listen in to explore truly integrative, holistic ways of living more naturally aligned with your unique needs – physically, emotionally, mentally, energetically, and spiritually.

Each episode delivers potent transmissions to inspire and empower you. With a range of topics complete with a dash of Western science, hearty servings of metaphysical wisdom, and heaps of embodied experiences, there’s something here for you to create profound, sustainable, holistic shifts in life, health, body, relationships, and spiritual growth.

Subscribe to The Uprooting Feminine Shame Podcast


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Greetings! I’m Devon Ray Battaglia, MS, AHA, ACC. As an Integrative Health Expert, Ayurvedic Health Advisor, and Holistic Life Coach, I’ve devoted myself to living and sharing the timeless wisdom of Nature’s rhythms to unlock our natural resilience and joy!

I mentor individuals like you on a heartfelt journey toward the life-changing simplicity and nourishment of living in sync with Nature.

Ready to transform life’s storms, amplify resilience, boost health and vitality, reconnect with your InnerSpark, and discover a life overflowing with peace, confidence, and clarity?

Click here to learn more about me and The InnerSpark Method.


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