Fears, Goals, and Excuses

Let’s start with an exercise…

  • Write down your top three biggest fears.
    1. _____________________
    2. _____________________
    3. _____________________
  • Write down your top three biggest goals.
    1. _____________________
    2. _____________________
    3. _____________________
  • Write down your top three biggest excuses.
    1. _____________________
    2. _____________________
    3. _____________________

Look at these things before you. Do you see some relationships? Are these goals not achieved yet because of some of these fears? Are these excuses really just masking these fears and therefore holding you back? Have you hit a plateau on your goals? Are you settling? Are you not being as aggressive as you could be because maybe that required next step is a little too scary? Do you see the little vicious circle that pops up as these three categories relate to each other?

Excuses and fears are friends. Really good friends.

They thrive off of each other. They hold us back. The thing they both have in common is that we create them. They don’t exist. They are the product of an incessant inner monologue. “I have such a wonderful idea. I can’t wait to get started!” we say to ourselves. Sound familiar? At an unsuspecting moment, you’re struck with sheer brilliance. You scribble like a madman or madwoman so you don’t forget this glimpse of divine awesomeness that has entered your brain. You’re passionate, excited, revitalized…

Then…

Cue the self-doubts and incessant inner monologue. “But… Maybe this needs to be tweaked first. What if someone doesn’t like it? Can’t I start tomorrow? I am too old to do that. If I just change this or rearrange that, maybe it will be better. I don’t have enough money to start this project. What if I lose it all? You know, it may be too risky. Aliens may abduct me. The world might end. My dog may eat all my hard work. There could be sharks in that water. I think that’s quicksand.”

Why do we do this to ourselves? Our greatest gift and our greatest curse lie within our thick skulls. Thinking is a beautiful thing, but it’s also an awful thing. Getting out of one’s mind is thought to be a negative act, right? Let me tell you a secret – Getting out of one’s mind is to be free.

Our minds can be a prison for our highest selves.

The real you, the one stripped away of fear and excuses and other byproducts of the mind, knows everything it needs. Your inner self is often hushed and inaudible due to this constant chatter. Sitting forgotten, lonely, and pushed all the way back into Cellblock Occipital, it eventually shuts down entirely.

“I think therefore I am.” Who said that? Anyone? Descartes. This is said to be one of those great quotes of the past. I challenge it. I think therefore I am… CONSTANTLY thinking and NOT listening. The most successful people are those who listen – not only to those around them, but also to their highest selves. 

I challenge you to take some quiet time to simply observe this chatter inside yourself. What’s the source of these thoughts? Ask yourself why you’re thinking these things. Why you’re making these excuses, and most importantly, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you do NOT act on achieving your goals or stepping out and doing something your inner self is telling you to do.

The answer to that might just give you the swift kick in the ass you need to quell those thoughts and move more aggressively and strategically towards the three goals before you – your goals. Stay focused on your purpose always. Stay focused on your “why” and release and banish all self-doubt and inner monologues that don’t serve you.

Start listening to the true self more often so it doesn’t give up and fade away as the other incessant chatter takes over. Be mindful of the mind. It can quickly get you in trouble by creating things that simply don’t exist.

Dear one, don’t you see that just by being here at this moment you’re proving that you’re ready for change? You’re ready to put an end to the cycle of excuses, born of fear and rooted in shame, and you’re ready to start turning your goals into realities. You’re ready to thrive.

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