Going high speed 24/7, constantly thinking of your next move or your to do list, and falling into routines and ruts are just some of the ways that eventually lead us into numbing out of our bodies and living in our heads. This is spiral/feminine shame in action, which impacts all of us – regardless of gender identification or physical anatomy. Learn more about feminine shame here.

Frequently Asked Questions About Feminine Shame

What is Feminine Shame?

What is Feminine Shame:
Have you ever felt out of step with the world, simply for embracing the natural ebbs and flows within yourself? At InnerSpark, we define “Feminine Shame” as a deeply ingrained resistance towards that which is cyclical, fluid, nurturing, intuitive, or emotional. It’s the uneasy feeling that arises from being cyclical, intuitive, or in tune with seasonal rhythms in a world that often values linear progress and constants. This disconnect is what distances many from their true essence, their InnerSpark, causing them to feel adrift, overwhelmed, and detached from the comforting rhythms of nature. It’s feeling ashamed of our innate, tender nature in a world that parades “normal” over “natural.”
 
Rooted in centuries-old beliefs, Feminine Shame drives that whispering ghost of “not enough.” It convinces us we’re wrong, unworthy, flawed at our very core. We’ve been conditioned to see our natural state as abnormal, which distances us from our true selves. This tug-of-war between the natural and the “normal” drains us—physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, spiritually—leading to widespread dis-ease. It’s high time we ask: isn’t it time to bridge that gap? To finally come home to ourselves? That’s where The InnerSpark Method is your guide.

Why Does Feminine Shame Exist?

Why Does Feminine Shame Exist:
From our early years, society hands us a blueprint of how to “fit in.” This blueprint often discounts the beauty of nature’s spirals – the inherent fluctuations and cycles that we, as beings of this Earth, naturally resonate with. When these intrinsic rhythms, intuitions, and emotions are labeled as irregular or inconsistent, it creates a landscape where Feminine Shame finds fertile ground, urging us to adopt the “standard” instead of cherishing our unique spirally essence.

Who Does Feminine Shame Impact?

Who Does Feminine Shame Impact:
Feminine Shame isn’t reserved for a select few. Imagine a shroud, thin but omnipresent, covering everything and everyone. Feminine Shame is that shroud. It blankets us all, an invisible veil impacting every heart. Regardless of gender or anatomy, everyone feels its presence – the nudge to prioritize society’s “shoulds” over the nurturing call of nature. It’s the tension that arises when our natural desire for a holistic, integrative life clashes with societal expectations, leaving us yearning for authentic connections, rhythms, and a return to our true nature.

How Do We Begin to Heal Feminine Shame?

How Do We Heal Feminine Shame:
The path to healing starts with recognizing the value of our innate connection to nature’s cycles. By turning towards our own challenges and deepest desires, and embracing the rhythms that have always been a part of us, we can find grounding and resilience. It’s about harmonizing with nature’s wisdom, tapping into its rhythms for guidance, and shedding the layers that keep us from living organically and authentically. Together, as a community that sees, supports, and validates each other, we transition from feeling fragmented and out of sync to dancing in harmony with life’s beautiful, ever-changing spirals.

When this happens, we lose touch with the messages and wisdom that are literally in each one of our cells and that can serve as guideposts to offer us  invaluable insight and direction direction, and even potential red flags for the early onset of disease and nutritional imbalances.

Our bodies are beautiful, complex masterpieces that serve as our tangible resource through which we get to experience life and offer our purpose to others. Maintaining a steady connection to feeling is the way to ensure you’re living in integrity with your intentions and values and that you’re taking responsibility for your most vibrant life possible.  No one else is going to do those things for you (nor can they!) and it starts with your body!

Here are 5 ways to come home to your body that you can start right now!

Earthing

Earthing is literally and simply the practice of touching the Earth with your bare skin – no shoes or gloves!  Specifically, you get barefoot and enjoy the grass, dirt, or sand between your toes and reconnect to this massive, awe-inspiring rock we get to call home!  Take those shoes off and get to it!

Learn more ways to connect with Nature here.

Trying a New Form of Exercise

The benefits of exercise are widely known and accepted by now and I sincerely hope you are engaging in some kind of physical activity that delights you on most days of the week!  In any case, a magnificent way to reconnect to your body is to move it in a completely new way!  Belong to a gym?  Swing by a new class!  Don’t belong to a gym?  I’ve never heard of one that didn’t offer some kind of low cost or free introductory trial or class(es) for new members.  Finally, in this day of the Internet, there are many free class options through YouTube or other sources and you can try this new movement in the comfort of your own home.  Been curious about Belly Dance, Tai Chi, Qigong, Martial Arts, Yin Yoga, Hip Hop Dance, or whatever else?  Search for it and get moving!

Self Massage

In Ayurvedic Medicine, “Abhyanga,” or self-massage, is a routine part of one’s life – as much so as bathing or brushing your teeth!  Here’s a complete breakdown on the way to practice Abhyanga in its true form.  To me there’s no right or wrong way to engage in the practice of self-massage and it truly can be as simple as rubbing lotion on your skin after a bath or shower.  The real intent, in my opinion, is to express self-love, relax, sloooow down, and to enjoy the sensations of the oil or lotion against your skin.  Additionally, it can serve as a time where you can perform suggested inspections of your skin for suspicious marks, notice any swollen or tender areas across the body, and perform breast or testicular exams, respectively.

Deep Belly Breaths

Stop what you are doing many times throughout the day and take at least three full, deep belly breaths in a row.  It’s helpful to utilize gentle phone or computer alarms as reminders or one of the various mindful breathing apps available such as Stop, Breathe & Think.  This little practice of consciously stopping and turning your awareness to your physical body through the breath, is a powerful way to reconnect and check in with yourself.  You may be surprised at the messages that come through when you stop and listen!

Engage Your Senses

Lastly, focus on each of your five senses each day by consciously tuning into them.  This little practice can make the mundane seem magical and can also work to sharpen your perceptions.  Listen closely to all of the subtle sounds around you, take time to really taste your food and appreciate its nuances and different flavors, feel the texture of your clothing, your dog’s fur, or your lover’s skin, quite literally stop and the smell the roses, and lastly, take the time to see what’s around you and notice new buds on that tree in your yard you probably overlook each day! As highly sensitive, intuitive, empathic, magical beings, tending your senses is imperative!

With a little practice fueled by honest effort and an intention to reconnect to your sacred vessel, you can begin an ever-deepening, harmonious relationship with your house. Here’s a video about creating more body love, which is something we can all use!

What are some of your favorite ways to reconnect to your physical body and find ground?