I have always had a deep love affair with the moon.  Her cycles and phases and changes have delighted and excited me for as long as I can remember.  I was born literally hours before a new moon and feel it’s no coincidence that I’ve always been especially partial to her when she’s in her dark phase. 

I speak of the moon and metaphors and symbols associated with her and Earth wisdom frequently in my work.  Working with the energies of the moon phases can seriously change your life. 

Recently, I had a client confess to me that they neither the difference between a “waxing” or “waning” moon, nor how to use the different implications in their lives.

Aligning With What’s Natural to Heal Feminine Shame

I imagine she’s not alone.  As we move farther away from living in a co-creative dance with Nature and continue to pin “it” as something outside ourselves, many are simply lost and confused.

This kind of thinking is the genesis of Feminine Shame.

Frequently Asked Questions About Feminine Shame

What is Feminine Shame?

What is Feminine Shame:
Have you ever felt out of step with the world, simply for embracing the natural ebbs and flows within yourself? At InnerSpark, we define “Feminine Shame” as a deeply ingrained resistance towards that which is cyclical, fluid, nurturing, intuitive, or emotional. It’s the uneasy feeling that arises from being cyclical, intuitive, or in tune with seasonal rhythms in a world that often values linear progress and constants. This disconnect is what distances many from their true essence, their InnerSpark, causing them to feel adrift, overwhelmed, and detached from the comforting rhythms of nature. It’s feeling ashamed of our innate, tender nature in a world that parades “normal” over “natural.”
 
Rooted in centuries-old beliefs, Feminine Shame drives that whispering ghost of “not enough.” It convinces us we’re wrong, unworthy, flawed at our very core. We’ve been conditioned to see our natural state as abnormal, which distances us from our true selves. This tug-of-war between the natural and the “normal” drains us—physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, spiritually—leading to widespread dis-ease. It’s high time we ask: isn’t it time to bridge that gap? To finally come home to ourselves? That’s where The InnerSpark Method is your guide.

Why Does Feminine Shame Exist?

Why Does Feminine Shame Exist:
From our early years, society hands us a blueprint of how to “fit in.” This blueprint often discounts the beauty of nature’s spirals – the inherent fluctuations and cycles that we, as beings of this Earth, naturally resonate with. When these intrinsic rhythms, intuitions, and emotions are labeled as irregular or inconsistent, it creates a landscape where Feminine Shame finds fertile ground, urging us to adopt the “standard” instead of cherishing our unique spirally essence.

Who Does Feminine Shame Impact?

Who Does Feminine Shame Impact:
Feminine Shame isn’t reserved for a select few. Imagine a shroud, thin but omnipresent, covering everything and everyone. Feminine Shame is that shroud. It blankets us all, an invisible veil impacting every heart. Regardless of gender or anatomy, everyone feels its presence – the nudge to prioritize society’s “shoulds” over the nurturing call of nature. It’s the tension that arises when our natural desire for a holistic, integrative life clashes with societal expectations, leaving us yearning for authentic connections, rhythms, and a return to our true nature.

How Do We Begin to Heal Feminine Shame?

How Do We Heal Feminine Shame:
The path to healing starts with recognizing the value of our innate connection to nature’s cycles. By turning towards our own challenges and deepest desires, and embracing the rhythms that have always been a part of us, we can find grounding and resilience. It’s about harmonizing with nature’s wisdom, tapping into its rhythms for guidance, and shedding the layers that keep us from living organically and authentically. Together, as a community that sees, supports, and validates each other, we transition from feeling fragmented and out of sync to dancing in harmony with life’s beautiful, ever-changing spirals.

The moon is our subtler, emotional, energetic aspect.  She’s the place of our wisdom and primal Shakti or feminine/Spiral power – regardless of your gender or physical anatomy. 

Each of the four phases corresponds metaphorically with a season and with one of the four parts of our breath cycle. The moon orbits around the Earth in an unending, spiral way.  It takes roughly 29.5 days for a full cycle – new moon to new moon.

New Moon

Energetically corresponds with winter and the complete exhale or space between exhale and next inhale. Corresponds with The Void Archetype on InnerSpark’s Wheel of The Mother. Learn more about these eight unique energies that represent your inner wisdom guides here.

This is the darkest time in the night sky and we can’t actually see her, but we can feel her deeply.  There’s an old saying, “The darker it is, the better you can see.”  This is how a new moon feels to me.  It’s a time for deep introspection and reflection, for gaining insight and clarity, for feeling into our energetic and literal fertility, for resting. 

This is an ideal time to set intentions and FEEL (not think) into what’s next for you.  Allow yourself to be receptive to the bigger primal force that animates you and surrender to your impulses to create your life.  Your outward energy may be lower and you may feel more tired because of the heightened awareness of your senses and intuition.  The energy is going within to allow you to be the conduit.

Waxing Moon

Energetically corresponds with spring and the inhale. Also corresponds with The Initiate Archetype on InnerSpark’s Wheel of The Mother. Learn more about these eight unique energies that represent your inner wisdom guides here.

After seeming to disappear into the great expansive void above, she beings to increase in size once more.  You may notice your energy is also increasing, manifestation is becoming easier, things are being actualized, and there’s a greater desire for expansion and playfulness.  Creativity continues to wax, as well.  Let yourself experience new things – new classes, new foods, new places, new people, etc.  Channel that rebirth, maiden energy and naivety and childlike wonder and innocence.

Full Moon

Energetically corresponds with summer and is the fullest inhale or space right before the exhale. Also corresponds with The Blacksmith Archetype on InnerSpark’s Wheel of The Mother. Learn more about these eight unique energies that represent your inner wisdom guides here.

The energy is super potent right now!  Some full moons may leave you feeling like you’re charged and electrified!  She’s at her biggest, brightest, and fullest expression, and so are you.  There’s a lot of outward energy at this time.  A stronger desire for socializing and being seen may also be present.  The deep insights and clarity that surfaced at the new moon may also come into clearer focus right now for how they relate to your life.

The new moon is our liminal space and the full moon is more of the tangible experience.  Pay attention to the themes that emerge through the cycles and how the dots end up connecting.  Don’t forget to recharge and cleanse crystals and other implements under the light of the full moon, too!

Waning Moon

Energetically corresponds with fall and the exhale. Also corresponds with The High Priestess Archetype on InnerSpark’s Wheel of The Mother. Learn more about these eight unique energies that represent your inner wisdom guides here.

Just as fall brings the bittersweet and melancholy reminder of endings, deaths, and release, the waning moon begins her emptying once again.  This is a time for harvesting, endings, banishing, and ultimately alchemizing experience into wisdom. This wisdom is the fertilizer for the seeds you’ll plant once more at the following new moon.

The challenges, the victories, the lessons are all part of the experience and this time serves to reiterate this fact.  Nothing stays the same and all is impermanent, every new endeavor and new being will eventually cease to exist in the form it does now, which is the sacredness of this living experience.  What worked?  What didn’t?  What feels yummy?  What feels challenging?

Bonus Up-Level Ways to Work with the Moon & Honor the Universal Spiral Principle:

• Journal practice daily for a moon cycle and check in with the four levels to see what changes over the cycle
• Daily dedication to your own rhythms and cycles; you are a micro of the macro, after all
• Plant and harvest by the moon
• Notice the different feels of different astrological signs – a new moon in Aries feels very differently than a full moon in Aries
• Host moon circles with beloveds for ritual, fun, healthy potlucks, witnessing, and whatever else feels poignant to you – cultivating authentic spirituality is a profound thing
• Get outside under the full moon and soak in her velvety light; this is called moon bathing
• Sleep in total blackness (you shouldn’t be able to see your hand in front of your face) and the night before, of, and after the full moon, open your curtains to allow moonlight to flood your space.  This is balancing to the energy and hormonal systems.

Above all, what I have shared is simply my own embodied experience and yours will differ slightly.  Welcome your own experiences, allow yourself to be very curious, and observe the miraculous flow of primal life force moving through and around you.