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3 Ways Feminine Shame is Impacting Your Life

I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to just let them sink in…

  • Ever felt like there was something just fundamentally, deeply wrong with you for simply existing?
  • Do you perpetually try to “fix” yourself to finally be enough on some level?
  • Are you stuck in the same patterns of sabotage or addictive tendencies and feel like it’s your dirty little “secret” that you can’t seem to “fix”?
  • Has your “self-care” slowly become “self-punishment” as you try to continually improve yourself so you can finally be enough?
  • Do you feel disconnected from yourself, from anything greater than yourself?

    ALL of these are ways that shame, specifically Feminine Shame, creeps into our lives.


Feminine Shame is an intense and deeply held resistance, aversion, resentment, and fear towards anything that is soft, transient, cyclical, fluid, passive, nurturing, intuitive, an/or emotional in nature. It is a shame towards that which is natural.

Learned Behavior to Be “Normal”

This learned disconnection leads us into a perpetual state of “not enough.” We feel wrong, bad, unworthy, fundamentally flawed just for existing.

As a species, we’ve lost our taproot and have learned that it’s better to ignore the innate naturalness of our being, unless we wish to open ourselves to scrutiny, judgement, and more shame.

What we’ve learned and emulated across many generations now, largely due to Puritanical programming, isn’t “natural,” although we’ve come to certainly view it as “normal.”

Living with Feminine Shame is a constant fight between natural and normal and an internalization that there’s something wrong with us. We are disconnected from our InnerSpark and continually seek cues and validation externally.

Perpetuating Feminine Shame Makes Life Harder – For ALL

This compartmentalized way of life makes everything harder and wreaks havoc on us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and contributes to dis-ease on a massive scale.

Feminine Shame impacts everyone – regardless of gender or physical anatomy. It’s an abstract, permeating concept that mostly refers to shame towards that which is natural and has virtually nothing to do with gender or anatomy.

While womxn do tend to experience it more directly, as a species, we’ve undoubtedly come to a place where the essence of “feminine,” or the Spiral Principle is not held with high regard. We are all impacted, as is our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health and the health of our planet.

We’ve been taught to celebrate structure, outward expression, productivity, and action; to view it as safe, while anything that is transient, passive, and changeable is deemed unsafe and something of which to be wary.

3 Ways Feminine Shame Impacts Your Life

Feminine Shame cuts us off from ourselves, our intuition, and our bodies

You are your own best teacher, healer, guide, whatever. You have your own best answers and there’s nothing and no one outside of you with any kind of gatekeeping authority.

If something doesn’t feel right for you, trust your intuition and listen to those valuable clues from within. We often have “symptoms,” which are messengers. Listen to them. Those things that we normalize – PMS, fatigue, anxiety – are trying to guide you back to yourself.

Your body is not a shameful thing. Go check out my last discussion all about the sacredness of your body and how to reconnect to them.


Feminine Shame cuts us off from our voice, truth, desires, and boundaries.

Feminine Shame clouds our ability to make the right choices for ourselves because everything is filtered through a lens of fear of being seen or found out and a painful sense of unworthiness and insecurity.

We lose our voice, we push down our truth, we ignore our desires, and we allow our boundaries to be crossed.


Feminine Shame prevents us from being soft, fluid, and receptive towards life – and even ourselves.

When in this froze, disconnected state, we’re not hearing the wisdom of our own soul’s and intuitive guidance.

We seek externally. We don’t ask for help and are unable to get our needs met in deeper, more meaningful ways. We shoulder the burdens of life alone, all the while longing for connection, but also afraid of it because we don’t want to be seen in our many flaws.


Do any of these resonate with you? I invite you to lean into freedom and thriving through embracing that which is natural and continuing to identify, confront, and heal the legacy of Feminine Shame we’re carrying.

I’d love to know what’s coming up for you right now, please head over to the Healing Feminine Shame Facebook group and share with me.

The InnerSpark Method is a revolutionary, whole-person approach that guides deep-feeling, sensitive women in identifying, uprooting, and transforming shame into a positive influence that has the potential to guide them towards wholeness, self-trust, and thriving in body, mind, and spirit.

Ready to get to the root of your burnout, ditch people-pleasing, self-sabotage, and anxiety, and discover your true, shame-free nature?

Sweet Soul, it’s time to live from your InnerSpark.

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