3 Ways Feminine Shame is Impacting Your Life

Published: March 13, 2022

Updated: March 22, 2022

I’m going to ask you some questions and I want you to just let them sink in…

  • Ever felt like there was something just fundamentally, deeply wrong with you for simply existing?
  • Do you perpetually try to “fix” yourself to finally be enough on some level?
  • Are you stuck in the same patterns of sabotage or addictive tendencies and feel like it’s your dirty little “secret” that you can’t seem to “fix”?
  • Has your “self-care” slowly become “self-punishment” as you try to continually improve yourself so you can finally be enough?
  • Do you feel disconnected from yourself, from anything greater than yourself?

    ALL of these are ways that shame, specifically Feminine Shame, creeps into our lives.


Feminine Shame is an intense and deeply held resistance, aversion, resentment, and fear towards anything that is soft, transient, cyclical, fluid, passive, nurturing, intuitive, an/or emotional in nature. It is a shame towards that which is natural.

Learned Behavior to Be “Normal”

This learned disconnection leads us into a perpetual state of “not enough.” We feel wrong, bad, unworthy, fundamentally flawed just for existing.

As a species, we’ve lost our taproot and have learned that it’s better to ignore the innate naturalness of our being, unless we wish to open ourselves to scrutiny, judgement, and more shame.

What we’ve learned and emulated across many generations now, largely due to Puritanical programming, isn’t “natural,” although we’ve come to certainly view it as “normal.”

Living with Feminine Shame is a constant fight between natural and normal and an internalization that there’s something wrong with us. We are disconnected from our InnerSpark and continually seek cues and validation externally.

Perpetuating Feminine Shame Makes Life Harder – For ALL

This compartmentalized way of life makes everything harder and wreaks havoc on us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and contributes to dis-ease on a massive scale.

Feminine Shame impacts everyone – regardless of gender or physical anatomy. It’s an abstract, permeating concept that mostly refers to shame towards that which is natural and has virtually nothing to do with gender or anatomy.

While womxn do tend to experience it more directly, as a species, we’ve undoubtedly come to a place where the essence of “feminine,” or the Spiral Principle is not held with high regard. We are all impacted, as is our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health and the health of our planet.

We’ve been taught to celebrate structure, outward expression, productivity, and action; to view it as safe, while anything that is transient, passive, and changeable is deemed unsafe and something of which to be wary.

3 Ways Feminine Shame Impacts Your Life

Feminine Shame cuts us off from ourselves, our intuition, and our bodies

You are your own best teacher, healer, guide, whatever. You have your own best answers and there’s nothing and no one outside of you with any kind of gatekeeping authority.

If something doesn’t feel right for you, trust your intuition and listen to those valuable clues from within. We often have “symptoms,” which are messengers. Listen to them. Those things that we normalize – PMS, fatigue, anxiety – are trying to guide you back to yourself.

Your body is not a shameful thing. Go check out my last discussion all about the sacredness of your body and how to reconnect to them.


Feminine Shame cuts us off from our voice, truth, desires, and boundaries.

Feminine Shame clouds our ability to make the right choices for ourselves because everything is filtered through a lens of fear of being seen or found out and a painful sense of unworthiness and insecurity.

We lose our voice, we push down our truth, we ignore our desires, and we allow our boundaries to be crossed.


Feminine Shame prevents us from being soft, fluid, and receptive towards life – and even ourselves.

When in this froze, disconnected state, we’re not hearing the wisdom of our own soul’s and intuitive guidance.

We seek externally. We don’t ask for help and are unable to get our needs met in deeper, more meaningful ways. We shoulder the burdens of life alone, all the while longing for connection, but also afraid of it because we don’t want to be seen in our many flaws.


Do any of these resonate with you? I invite you to lean into freedom and thriving through embracing that which is natural and continuing to identify, confront, and heal the legacy of Feminine Shame we’re carrying.

I’d love to know what’s coming up for you right now, please head over to the Healing Feminine Shame Facebook group and share with me.

The InnerSpark Method:
Everyday Rhythms Program

Gently & Sustainably Burnout-Proof Your Life
With Self-Care Rhythms Rooted in Nature

Ever feel like:
You did everything “right.”

Worked hard. Built the life. Showed up for everyone. Followed the plans.

Tried the life hacks, the yoga, the therapy, the smoothies, the supplements.

Ya know, everything they said would lead to a happy, healthy life.

And yet…
You’re exhausted.
Your body’s not happy.
And you’re quietly wondering… “Why doesn’t this feel better?”

You’re not broken. You’re burnt out.

And it’s the result of a culture that never taught you how to care for yourself in the ways you actually need.

That changes now.

The InnerSpark Method: Everyday Rhythms is a proven, 8-part, mentor-guided system rooted in Nature, Ayurveda, and Integrative Health to help you simplify self-care and reclaim your life and health – holistically, naturally, sustainably.

This is the last wellness framework you will ever need.

Explore Feminine Shame:

  • Feminine Shame: The Root of Our Disconnection From Nature

    Feminine Shame: The Root of Our Disconnection From Nature

    In most all modern folks, the actual root cause of cycles of burnout, physical health challenges, stress, and feeling like there’s just something “wrong” with you is our disconnection from Nature. This disconnection stems from Feminine Shame. Feminine Shame will have you feeling like you’re just going through the motions. Like somehow life has become…

    Read More


  • How Nature Guides Us in Setting and Keeping Sacred Boundaries

    How Nature Guides Us in Setting and Keeping Sacred Boundaries

    Boundaries are often misunderstood as barriers, but in truth, they are life-giving structures that honor our energy and create space for clarity, growth, and connection. They are acts of self-love and self-respect, enabling us to focus on what nourishes us and release what drains us. As we approach late autumn, the natural world offers a…

    Read More


Hi, I’m Devon.
I’m not here to help you “fix” yourself. (You’re not broken.) I’m here to help you come home to yourself.

I’ve lived the burnout. I was the high functioning, do-it-all, keep-it-together woman who looked fine on the outside and totally lost on the inside.

What saved me was rhythm. Daily, seasonal, soul-deep rhythm — rooted in Nature and in truth.

Now, it’s my deepest honor to guide others in rebuilding their lives from that same foundation.

Drawing on a background in Integrative Health, Ayurveda, holistic coaching, somatic trauma work, energy healing, and flower essence therapy, my approach is gentle, grounded, and deeply supportive.

I help people simplify, reconnect with what matters, and create sustainable rhythms of self-care that support real energy, real joy, and real healing — for life.

Click here to learn more about me and The InnerSpark Method.

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